We at xfistsx are proud to present a very special election themed installment in our semi-regular feature entitled “future ex-boyfriend”, wherein we select a potential mate and then proceed to envision the entire course of our relationship. While Joe Biden is certainly a worthy contender for the title, we found he was way too similar to
Jesse PinkmanTim Allen. We were close to giving up hope, but then just last night Jeremy Epstein came into our lives.
Jeremy Epstein is a 20 year old college student who, until last night, existed in relative obscurity. However, after asking the first question at last night’s town hall-style presidential debate, he is at the forefront of the political arena. We at xfistsx care about any and all political matters (“Free Pussy Riot”; “Keep Your Rosaries Off Our Ovaries”, etc.), and are particularly invested in this year’s scarily close election, so it’s only natural that we gravitated toward Jeremy at this time.
"We’re as sick as our secrets and the shame keeps us in isolation. And when we find that shared experience, we gather our strength and our hope. So for example, I’m a three-time survivor of rape, and about that I have no shame, because it was never my shame to begin with—it was the perpetrator’s shame. And only when I was a grown empowered adult and had healthy boundaries and had the opportunity to do helpful work on that trauma was I able to say, okay, that perpetrator was shameless, and put their shame on me. Now I gave that shame back, and it’s my job to break my isolation and talk with other girls and other women."